Natalia's Rules & the Valar Morghulis

  Η συμβουλή της αφηγήτριας πριν την ανάγνωση: Εάν ταυτιστείς με το κείμενο, α) παράτα το μαλάκα αμέσως β) βρες μια Ρωσίδα γ) κάνε τη φίλη σου.


1.     After the first time (which both of you waited for such a long time) he says that he is still the same person as before NOTHING

2.        Living abroad he creates an impression that he is always soooo busy and replies to your messages after 2-5 days or even weeks

3.       He takes you for granted and is convinced that you will wait for him forever to return from Whateverthefuckothercountry-city he is

4.       More personalized reasons: his body is hairy. A lot.

5.       The guy swears all the time while you are having sex

6.       and asks stupid rhetorical questions addressed to only God/devil knows whom while having sex instead of appraising you

7.       The guy's smell/taste is not up to our sensual noses. Sometimes this can be noticed before sex. Being sober.

8.       The guy obviously has the biggest ego in the world and nothing can mislead him from his way full of ambitions which reach the top of the highest heels you can ever walk on.

9.       Once ousted from the throne can never get on top of it AND remain on it under the same "favourable" conditions and be loved by his "people"(=you).

10.   Last but not least. And again. The guy's ego is so huge that he will never understand that something is wrong with his behaviour which includes: appearance at 4:30 a.m. (as if you were waiting for all your life for him to come), "brother-to-be" behaviour after sex (who are you - fucking Lannisters??, Gameofthronesfans will understand), creepy try to leave unnoticed in the morning (as if you are sleeping like a that bear during winter) and etc etc etc

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